Saturday 8 April 2017

Shout-out to Zanthorus

(In the style of a certain Rosa L.)

To welcome back the returning comrade Zanthorus, we issued this stunning condemnation:


"Welcome back, Zanthorus!


"We're sorry this is slightly late. We'll put up a post calling you out because you have an amazing name. For one thing, it starts with a 'z.' It also has an 'n,' 'o' and 'h' in it. Any profound thoughts on the emasculation of the West and the tyranny of the matriarchy?


"You just said that a journalist had small balls. I'm invoking the fifth. I accuse you, sir, of choosing an easy target. This is a most heinous crime. Nonetheless I shall follow your advice and pursue the true path of archery, and in the process no doubt found several dystopian states until they form a genre. They shall then brainwash young adult minds, until they can no longer feel pessimism. They shall then inform them that human nature is an enemy to these states, and must be eradicated wherever it is found.


"The capital shall be in Egypt, which has a history of worshipping cats.


"We appreciate your posting, and the subtle yet poetic entrance. You did not clarify whether the rugby was league, union, etc., which some might find offensive and to suggest a support of slavery. In addition, the Labour Party might take issue with your perceived support for Ken Livingstone, and would request that you change your name to 'Zionthorus' to repent. What Zionism has to do with Thor might be uncertain to them, but nobody said that Christians' doctrine of salvation had to coherent. However, other than a list of possible offence your post has caused (other than to journalists, who are a sub-human race anyway), which is as obligatory in 'leftist' dialogue as 'Heil Hitler' in Nazi Germany, welcome back. I'm sure the online left could do with a resurgence of reasonable discussions, as opposed to most (dead and dying) fora and the occasional and hated dissident commenter."

We appreciate you see the sheer cutting and critical nature of this, without us annotating the whole passage with exclamation marks at the appropriate points. Nonetheless, we shall do so anyway, for the first paragraph. This shall hopefully give readers a hang of how to go on:

"We're sorry this is slightly late." (!) (Sorry? Of course we're not sorry! We hate the scoundrel. This sets a trap. They expect us to be taking on a favourable tone, and are unprepared for the following zingers.) "We'll put up a post calling you out because you have an amazing name." (!) "For one thing,  it starts with a 'z.' It also has" (!) (refer to the Economic Manuscripts of 1844 for details) "an 'n,' 'o' and 'h' in it. Any" (!) "profound thoughts" (!) "on the emasculation of the West" (!) "and the tyranny" (!) "of the matriarchy?" (!)

Verily as destructive an attack as if you dropped the Tsarina Alexandra on a country and they all died of fright. You may have watched Wrestlemania recently, yet you may easily forget that: this is the real thing.

Now, you may be asking, what does all of this have to do with Georg Friedrich? Well, it might not be clear at first. We might seem initially to have just unleashed a devastating attack on a perfectly civil commenter who did not mention Hegel. However, do not be fooled. They speak of 'mastering the art of archery,' by going from small to large targets. However, Hegel mastered German philosophy, did they not? And did so by going from basic and abstract categories to more complex ones. So you see again that 'if the essences of things correspond to appearances, all science would be superfluous.' Their comment is still offensive, although this is veiled.

I am sure that, had Marx lived, they would have ended Das Kapital with that very sentence.

However, we shall also welcome back Zanthorus. We shall welcome them back as Lottie Moss - the eternal enemy of I, ZeroNowhere - welcomed back Alex Mytton after a drunk tiff. With an amicable disposition, but also trepidation and the poignance it holds. However, rather than being as "stately as a slot machine," we shall offer a courteous but refined reception. And besides, taking advantage of Kate Moss being our relative would tarnish our name. And what is the result of sounding like a lotus, when this lotus would be incredibly out of place in a Made In Chelsea context? It is a mere painkiller in a degenerate scene.


We shall conclude this post with this fervent attack on Thor, who 'Zanthorus' no doubt worships. By attacking that which they hold sacred, we bring this highly critical post to a fitting crescendo. After this, they may face the world with 'sober senses,' and all welcome each other generously.

Finally, we would like to note that the 'Rosa' mentioned was not Rosa Luxemburg. Just in case anyone thought this was some other blog, where Rosa Luxemburg might be highlighted in any way whatsoever. I am sure a few of our readers will catch the reference, and I exhort them to consider in good humour what others less so will make of it. The tone might help these others to get the gist of it. On that note, we would like to end this condemnatory post with the following sentence.

This is my world now.

9 comments:

  1. roflmao!! Welcome!

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  2. Lell, this blog makes pop culture jokes now?

    Poor Rosa! Great intro, why don't I get onee?

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    1. You're not anime enough. Nonetheless, judging by your use of 'onee' there, you are on the correct path. Someday you may master the art of anime, however clearly you already want to be the best at it that no one ever was. Just because Zanthorus can do it, it doesn't mean that it's easy.

      It is like Krishna once said, you must do your duty and become an anime, even to your friends.

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  3. Like how you say 'an anime' lol

    http://redmarx.freeforums.org/broletariat-follows-a-nazi-ideoloy-t1429.html

    Opinions?

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    1. As my name resembles Eva Braun's, I am not entirely certain what to say about this officially other than that Brole should lay off the mutton.

      We'd usually prefer to avoid linking to forum threads without further discussion, but we'll let this one pass because.

      If we had to give a less official response, clearly a response to Nazi ideologies is important at the present time. As 'love' and 'hate' are both proclaimed to be in conflict with each other (presumably love 'surrenders'), the spectre of Adolf Hitler's theories once against looms as they uncovered a developed Hegelian synthesis of 'love' and 'hate.' As opposed to typical university ideologists, they denounced forcibly the possibility of a 'love that never dies,' except insofar as its object allows. This is documented in a famous scene from 'Downfall,' where they angrily assaulted people nearby who suggested that a 'love that never dies' was present South of Berlin. They would habitually bring animals into their bunkers to be shot in order to demonstrate symbolically how a love near Berlin would die - calling it 'Hitlerian materialism.' Hence, we applaud 'Zanthorus' for their dedication to raising this question.

      Nonetheless, the Nazis had a decent time of events like the Olympics and even chess analogues. Expecting them to be unmentionable in an exercise context is exaggerating. Indeed, it is said that if you undertake Nazi exercise and orient yourself in the right manner while twisting, you can become invisible. This is much better than the late Christina Grimmie, who stated that they would not become another invisible ghost but was then shot. Regardless of their claims to Christianity, I think their statement there is bordering on heresy to all religion. Which is incredibly offensive. In fact, I was planning on bringing this to a proper conclusion, but I shall end it now and stand in 1 minute of silence. Except to say that Zanthorus' accusations don't seem to take into account the specific content of Nazism. Many world leaders collaborated with the Nazis, but that did not make them National Socialists. Besides, Broletariat is all about fashion, not fascism. Fascism is indeed Italy's attempt at breaking the shackles of fashion that have too long enslaved their nation.

      Anyway, enough. Let us mourn the offensiveness of Christina Grimmie.

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    2. You had to add the Grimmie part..

      Loled at that response.

      Not keen on thatt linked forum, looks average. I can see why you would discourage that..,

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    3. Hit me baby one more time.

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    4. NC is really trying to offend or attack everyone these days..

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    5. I don't mind it

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